It was at this point I became aware that Maurice had returned, for his briefcase I expect, and was peering over my shoulder, just as entranced by the phenomenal row of noughts as I was.

“My God Alice, we’re rich!”

“We? You mean me!”  I said snatching the statement away.  Maurice’s look of dismay was almost comical.

“Alice, please, you know I’ve always loved you,” he pleaded.  “Haven’t I taken care of you all these years?  I admit I’ve a weakness for younger women, but I know how to fix that.”

Before I could stop him he’d grabbed the Genie’s arm.

“Listen mate, you’re programmed to do as your told right?  Well now it’s my turn, make my wife half my age!” which as of course he did!

What do you mean I still look 48?  Well of course I do, I am 48 for goodness sake!  But Maurice isn’t! Thanks to that Geni, his age doubled!  He’s 96 and looks every day of it!  No teeth, no marbles and no libido!  Hee, hee!

As for me, I’m having the time of my life!  Rich, surrounded by luxury and attended by a handsome gigolo, right under my old man’s nose and serve the lecherous old devil right I say!

“You’re not the Kleeneeze man,” I said.

“No madam, I’m not,” he said.  “And you’re not Mrs Ordinary from Paradise Avenue.  It’s time for a de-coke and a spring clean.  Take this and remove all the blots and blemishes from your life.”

Before I could say anything he’d pushed a little glass bottle into my hand and hurried off.

No I didn’t drink it, we’re talking stain remover remember?  You wouldn’t drink Harpic would you?

Anyway, I thought the fellow was a complete nutter if you want to know the truth, but there was this ketchup stain on the anaglypta so I thought, what have I got to loose?

“Rosa, don’t bother with his pills today, we’ll give him extra tonight, they’ll make him sleep!  Yes I know what the doctor said about O.D.ing, but I’m in charge here!”

Did it fetch it off?  How the devil should I know?  As soon as I pulled out the cork there was this big whoosh and a sort of genie appeared in a shower of sparks and smoke.

Yes I did say genie, bowing and scraping how they’re supposed to and saying ‘how may I help you?’  Well it is the twenty-first century you know.  You don’t get, ‘your wish is my command,’ these days.

Then I suddenly thought what the Miracle Stain Removal man said about blots and blemishes and how the biggest one in my life wasn’t tomato sauce on the kitchen wall, but Maurice and his wandering palms.

“Money,” I said, “and plenty of it, so I’m never beholding to Maurice again!”

All he did was click his fingers, there was another puff of smoke and then I was holding a bank statement with my name on it and staring at a row of figures that nearly made me faint!

PART 6 TOMORROW!